Like, I hear that some of our fellow countrymen/women have gone a little bat shit nutty over GUVAMINT. Something called "The Tea Party" has apparently kicked up a little dust about food stamps, free cell phones, "Obamacare" and Kenyans.
Well, excuse us liberal stoners out here in the "Evergreen State," especially those of us borderline socialist/coffee roasters here in "The Emerald City." As we amble about in our electric smart cars, gaze up at the snowy cone of Mt. Rainier and take turns charging our various tablets, laptops and mobile devices, we sometimes have a hard time computing that, like, GUVAMINT is a bad thing.
"Out here," government is not some kind of tax-collecting overlord, or big mama nanny state offering us powdered baby formula in exchange for our fallopian tubes. Ours is a much more copacetic concept of government, a place where state workers and elected officials have so eagerly responded to The People's choice to legalize the growth, production and sale of cannabis in all of its ever-evolving forms.
Forget all the various boutique botanical varieties of weed, which is now called "flower." The healthy medical marijuana trade that is already underway here in Washington state has opened a window on the brave and beautiful new world of extracted THC and other cannabinoids, from hash oils to mega-powerful dabs. But now all those products that "patients" have been using to deal with back pain, chemo side effects, seizures and "anxiety" will soon be available to everyone in the name of recreational marijuana.
Step right up.
While Rand Paul and Ted Cruz freak the fuck out about GUVAMINT, what's ours doing? Why, it is sending out neat, easy-to-read instructions via email blasts to any stakeholder or person interested in applying for a license to grow, produce or sell cannabis. You would be amazed and shocked at the pleasant, pointed, easy-to-understand informational updates that our GUVAMINT has been delivering to us, the citizens.
Just look at the latest notification about the implementation of I-502 notifying us that there is going to be a rule change on how to define the 1,000-foot setback that's required to keep weed shops from the likes of schools or transit stations. This notice comes on last week's notice that the application process for licensing for the growing, production and sale of marijuana will start in Washington state on Nov. 18 and run through Dec. 19.
If only the Affordable Care Act could have been "rolled out" with this kind of aplomb, maybe all the Tea Party-ers would take a chill.
Come to think of it, the Tea Party might need to change its strategy, become the Weed Party. Hemp, grown on Washington's farm in Virginia; supported by libertarians as the next great American freedom crop -- it ought to be turned into a unifying change agent for good in this country. I mean, just look at us way out here in the Pacific NorthLeft. Our state's best legislative effort on behalf of its people has been guiding them like Timothy O'Leary on a nice little trip to cannabis legalization.
Now das guvamint.
Too bad the legalization effort came too late for Michael Saffioti in Snohomish, WA who died in his cell after turning himself in on misdemeanor pot possession charge.
Also, just don't clench your buttocks in New Mexico. Because they did not get the memo there about how the war on drugs is a frightening, useless over-reach that emboldens U.S. law enforcement to act like KGB thugs undercover in Saudi Arabia.
Is a former political and sports columnist who worked great cities like Albany NY, Seattle, Baltimore and Harrisburg PA. She lives New York.