It started with paper towels and toilet paper. That was why I went to Costco. I need household supplies. Abundance and low price was critical. I dealt myself in for a stop at Costco but committed the ultimate fail.
Prior to entering the retail warehouse, I did not commit that critical oath: THOU SHALT NOT BUY ANYTHING MORE THAN WHAT YOU CAME HERE FOR. So, of course, I fell victim to Costco and the $4.99 rotisserie chicken. Not one. But two of them.
Why? Because I suffer from that affliction that says: If you are going to buy an item at bargain prices, do not just buy one. Buy two. Buy 10. Because to only buy one -- even though you only need one -- would be like losing money. I mean, $4.99 for a whole, cooked chicken is ... a great deal!
The real problem with the Costco rotisserie chicken isn't, however, that it is so inexpensive that you buy more than you need. It's that they really aren't THAT good. They are reliable, but only in a serviceable way. They are juicy in the way that they must be injected with some kind of juice solution. I'm not certain, I'm just guessing, since they are juicy. Maybe too juicy. Far more juicy than the $8.99 rotisserie chickens they sell at North Shore Farms, which may even be organic chickens and are not nearly as big or juicy but, in fact, they do taste better.
Anyway, these rotisserie chickens are now looming in the refrigerator. It THE DAY after I went to Costco and succumbed to the pair of chickens. And now the realization that I must actually make USE of these chickens is getting me a little stressed out. I feel, frankly, oppressed. Usually, I use these chickens to make chicken soup for my family. But I realized TOO LATE that I still have an entire batch of chicken soup in the freezer from the last time I bought a pair of Costco birds.
Worse, my daughter informed me that after last week's spate of chicken dishes, she's sick of chicken. So she's been eating peanut butter & jelly sandwiches for the past 36 hours.
Tonight, I'm going out to dinner. I'm going to a Greek restaurant in NYC and I will not order chicken, because all I will be able to think about is how, back at home, there are these two chickens that have to be consumed. One of them is upstairs in the kitchen fridge. The other is in the spare fridge in the basement, because, after all, who has room in the main fridge for two chickens? Not me. Which begs the question: WHY?
Next time, I will take the oath. No rotisserie chicken from Costco. Ever.
Is a former political and sports columnist who worked great cities like Albany NY, Seattle, Baltimore and Harrisburg PA. She lives New York.